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| La average québécois moyen colon stie |
Driving around in la belle but crazy Province
Here are some pictures with deir names in french, to start you up on learning our wonderful and colorful language. Practice dose words, say dem out loud for a couple of times to get the hang of it. Make your Mommy proud about how smart you are, learning french and all. When you get real wise and real smart, I will teach you joual. But you will have to be able to eat poutine and pâté chinois first.
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| Soc | Coq | Phoque | Dame | Conte |
After practicing at while, you should go to your parents and tell dem the neat little french words you've just learned. Dey will be very proud.
Car talk
You should be warned dat de average auto mechanic in Québec is an expert con-man and quack doctor and like very much to fourrer people. If he finds out you're not from around here, he'll rip you off so bad you gonna need tree jobs to pay his bill. Here are some automobile terms, and deir equivalent in québécois:
| brake | brake |
| tire | tire |
| hood | hood |
| dash | dash |
| steering | steering |
| windshield | windshield |
| wiper | wiper |
| bumper | bumper |
| manifold exhaust | exhaust de manifold |
| fucking frog | crisse de bloke |
Make sure you remember dose words, dey can save you lots. If you use the correct terms, the guy will be less inclined to be dishonest, but den again, it's no guarantee. And if he hands you an invoice totaling 800 dollars while trying to explain dat "el'carbeurateur su l'cranquechaffe tait jammé apras 'a strappe du calipeure de joint d'cardan sué sparqueplogues pis moé j'prends rien qu'du cash", well, what can I say, you have just been fourré.
